Who Am I?

In discovering that the old cliche that loving oneself indeed is the greatest love of all (Yes, like the song!), I have outlined my list of the characteristics that make ME up, attempting to accept the good and the bad in hopes to eventually do the same with everyone else around me:

- I am a 40 year old very attractive woman, who doesn't look a day over 35 ;)

- I am funny, smart, and compassionate.

- I am observant, inquisitive, and orderly.  Yes, I like structure and I don't like to not have a plan.

- I am mildly compulsive about achieving perfection in the things I do.  But, this means I don't give up easily and I am very goal-driven.

- I am fun, easy-going, and analytical (not sure if all those go together, but this is MY list...so there :P)

- I am a good writer.

- I am athletically versatile.

- I am a good kisser, and a giving lover.

- I am independent and like to speak my mind.  I feel stifled around people who I cannot express my emotions or thoughts around.

- I am direct and honest.  I don't like to play games with people's minds or feelings.

- I am faithful and a good friend.

- I am sometimes judgmental, but only when I believe a better and more obvious solution is being overlooked.

- I am patient, forgiving, and open.  However, when I feel I need to protect myself, I will retreat into myself and protect my emotions vehemently.  I don't forget transgressions right away and sometimes tend to hold onto grudges.

- I am not easy to anger, but I am moody and quirky at times.

- I am ambitious and tend to get wrapped up in overachieving with the right motivation.

- I am proud of myself for finishing college, having 2 beautiful daughters, letting my ex go completely, and for being able to stand on my own 2 feet for the first time in life ever, and for having lost over 20 lbs when most people my age tend to gain weight.

- I am a good leader and a fair boss.  I seek to find the qualities in my people that show they can excel and enable them to put them to good use so they can demonstrate and discover their full potential.

- I am a caring single mother struggling to not mess up my kids.

- I am a good person with good intentions.  I try to live my life following the principle that I strive to treat others as I would like for them to treat me.  Sometimes, this is not easy and I recognize this, but I try to take the road less traveled, and do the right thing because I believe that whatever energy I send out into the cosmic universe will somehow find its way back to me.

- Just as anyone else, I posses negative traits (impatience, selfishness, self-doubt, confusion, ego, and bewilderment at how to deal with life situations).  I don't have all the answers and I never will.  All I can do is do the best I can, and when I do make mistakes, try to learn from them and not repeat them in the same fashion without being able to analyze them and seek ways to correct where I went wrong.

And finally,

- I am a product of my mother's aspirations and upbringing.  I hope wherever she is, I have managed to make her proud!

I found this online Buddhist booklet outlining the acceptance of the self.  It was very informative to say the least.  It states that one needs to accept and love every aspect of one's own self before you can accept and love the same aspects in everyone else.  We must think of ourselves as mothers to our own selves.  We are raising and teaching ourselves to be the best we can possibly can be.  I really like this idea because it stresses taking responsibility for your own actions and feelings, and not to seek happiness and self-fulfillment through another or other people's actions.