10 Rules for an Unhappy Marriage

After reading the 10 Rules for an Unhappy Marriage, I realize I could not have avoided the final outcome of the marital separation I am currently experiencing as a direct result from the crumbling of my marriage. It didn't matter if I tried or not, it would have ended up exactly the same way. I'll tell you impending divorce is an interesting experience. From the 'official' move out of the spouse leaving the marital home when you don't realize how insignificant items you never cared about before now become the point of fierce contention, to the emotional turmoil, the rummaging through what seems like a lifetime of items you collected together because at the time they meant something and having to pack them away and forget them to keep what's left of your own sanity, and finally the knowing you were right, but it doesn't count for s#@t! Why must there be mind games afterwards like the stupid comments on if things would have been different (which of course translates into if you would have agreed to my cheating...)? Why do we go through the blame game? Why is it that even the simple act of wishing the other well is received with utter defensiveness and the return of vile and spew?

 I know I need to move on from this and I am doing so in my own way and at my own pace. I try very hard to not let his impetuous nature influence my decisions or my actions. Yes, it becomes challenging, but I have been fortunate to find support in places I never knew existed. If anyone else is going through a similar experience, allow me to stress that it is of utmost important that you find a support system made up of people that can truly accept your decisions regarding the broken marriage and seek to nurture you, and not turn the tables on you with the potential of unkowingly leading you back into a situation that is not healthy for you.

As a result of all this, I have explored the world of online dating sites to see what and who is out there. I just have one point to make here and it is that; In the past, I always used to harshly judge older women (ages 40 +) who became sexually involved with younger guys (in their 20's). I am now eating my words. Although I haven't done it yet, I am tempted to. It is a convenient way to keep things on a less than serious level, particularly for a very busy woman like myself who was no real time to nurture a flourishing relationship, as well as to have someone around who absolutely adores, admires, and is oh so deliciously fixated in pleasing you. For all the wrong reasons, yes, but if you're looking for a quick ego boosting fix and keep in perspective that this 'friendship with benefits' has no future whatsoever, somehow it doesn't seem so bad. And the best part of it is that at that age, most men ARE still single and very free to mingle ;) It's irresistibly guilt-free on that front as well. No real worries of the troublesome screening for 'married or committed liars' seeking nothing but an empty set of secret rendezvous' so they can escape and victimize their unknowing spouse with you as a conveniently complacent accomplice. So for all you Cougars out there, I sincerely apologize, ladies...I was SO DEAD WRONG!