Pigmy Tasiers Make a Comeback

Pigmy Tasiers were thought to be extinct for over 8 decades, but recently have been sighted in Indonesia.

Would You Like to See my Cervix?

I find myself in Atlanta tonight. My first business related conference down South. It was a new experience for me traveling alone, but the accommodations, ordering room service and pampering time alone has been deliciously exhilarating. I can honestly say I am no fan of travel. My flight was delayed, there were long lines at the gate, the baggage claim was about a half mile away, lots of Atlanta traffic, etc. But, it was all worth it just to feel the independence one feels when away from home and away from the family; no husband and no kids. I can watch what I want, eat what I want, and just relax and take time to reflect on life and all the mundane things that usually preoccupy me, but from a new perspective. Mental note; I must do this at least once a year. I feel like a new woman!

The conference itself was very nice. It was on feminist topics and how they relate to ethnic women. There were amazing women from all over the country and all sorts of heritages. We were united in solidarity and cared to fight for many common causes. It was enlightening, fun, and electric.

One of the workshops dealt with learning how to do self-exams at home in order to empower you as a woman. They spoke about no longer allowing a doctor to probe your intimates and for the woman to passively be scrutinized. No, they spoke about asking the doctor to let you see what was inside you so you as a woman would be able to gauge what is normal and is not. Many of the women shared their stories; some were run of the mill and some were spectacular in their descriptions of how they had been treated as if they were unfeeling drones covered by one insurance carrier or another. The doctor’s bedside manner would be driven by how much their insurance was worth and not by the experience or the age of the patient. It is no secret that for younger women, a vaginal exam can be very traumatic. It is also known that even for older women, a vaginal exam can be horrid.

During the workshop, we saw a slideshow demonstrating various stages and types of ‘normal’ and the women embraced the idea that every woman’s body is different. What may be normal for you is not necessarily normal for me. We spoke of how the vagina and cervix were affected by childbirth, menstruation, abortion, sexual excitement and ovulation. For the first time ever, it was a safe place for us to talk about the smell of our genitals, the shape of our vulva, yeast infections, and every other topic women always avoid at all costs even when in the presence of other women; the taboo subjects we all wonder about, but never dare to ask about.

When the slideshow and discussion was over, I figured that was it. They would give us the self-exam kits and we would be on our way, but no! There was more. The hostesses prepared and went into the bedroom of the suite and prepared. We all stepped into the bedroom single filed and gathered around the queen sized bed where two of the women were laying down, spread eagle with speculums already inserted. They offered flashlights to any of the participants who felt comfortable enough to take a peek.

In all honesty, I was hesitant at first, and wondered why would anyone want me to look at her ‘cooch’? A lot of the other women who attended the workshop shared the same apprehensions, but the demonstrators encouraged all present to examine each of the cervixes by smiling and talking through the process of insertion. I never thought in a million years that in coming to Atlanta I would have access to seeing four women’s most intimate parts. This is not something women EVER do despite how well you may know your very best girlfriends. I also thought that this reminded me very much of some sort of quack cult thing as I was handed that first flashlight, but then something happened. Everyone became more comfortable and we all simply shared a moment of real life practical education.

Unconventional? Yes, absolutely! But, I think these women are onto something. We should not merely accept being laid on our backs and having that speculum hurriedly inserted by someone who is simply wondering what number patient you are today or in some instances does not even have the anatomy required to insert the tool into their own body. We should not passively and unquestioningly accept when they tell us our bodies are not normal. We should not be made to feel our sexuality or the appearance of our body is something to be ashamed of. There is no shame in being a woman, smelling like a woman, or looking like a woman. There is no shame in not wanting vaginal rejuvenation because we don’t all look like porn stars. There is no shame in having a tipped uterus, being extra bushy, not having a lot of hair, or having vaginal scarring because you had a miscarriage or an abortion. We cannot afford to allow anyone to take away the power we do have over our own bodies, but we cannot exercise that power if we are not comfortable with own selves.

I would like to thank those women again because I learned so much today. Not only that there are women out there that care enough to share their own bodies and experiences, but want to bring that message and love of themselves to other women. We, as women, are our own worse enemies. We are taught self-deprecation from young. Every advertisement, magazine, and movie teaches us that if we do not look this way or that way, then we are not as good as the women in Hollywood, who have become our role models. Our mothers teach us to be discreet, to be ashamed of our own bodies, to hide our feminine smell, to clean ourselves into smelling like flowers or salads, to abandon those old world home remedies, which were tried and true by our grandmothers and their mothers, and instead embrace the chemicals and hormones the doctors routinely prescribe. Moms teach us what they themselves have been conditioned to learn for that is all they have to offer us, but these particular women embraced a more innovative approach by placing every woman in that room on the same level of the playing field.

Tonight, I will be excitedly examining my own cervix and vagina with my new self-exam kit. I can’t wait to see what I really look like internally. I will be reacquainting myself and at the same time getting to know an old faithful friend. Who knows I may even give my ‘cooch’ a name and be more aware of it instead of pretending it’s not even there as I have done all my life. And one day, maybe one day, I will have the courage to ask another woman; would you like to see my cervix?

That day is not today, and to be perfectly frank, that day may never come for me, but I can only aspire to have that type of commitment. To perform such an unselfish act as to allow a perfect stranger to peek inside my most private region in the interest of education and solidarity is absolutely admirable, something unique and remarkable. Thank you ladies for allowing me to share in a special moment and for teaching me about my own body what had not been presented to me for almost four decades. You are my new heroes!